The Art of Penis Massage: A Step-by-Step Guide

Penis massage is a powerful practice that helps your penis owning partner relax, explore pleasure, and deepen intimacy without performance pressure. This massage focuses on sensation and connection rather than achieving an erection or orgasm. Use this guide to recreate the experience at home, following the steps mindfully and communicating with your partner.

Key Principles to Remember

• Use a pleasure scale from 0-10 to monitor arousal; (0 is feeling little/nothing and 10 is ejaculation); keep stimulation at an 8-9 without reaching orgasm. Communicate throughout the massage so you know where the receiver is on the scale. Avoid rushing or pushing for ejaculation. If your partner is experiencing a lot of pleasure and nearing climax, you may need to pause. Encourage your partner to breath and spread the sensations of pleasure throughout their body. You can resume when the level of arousal has decreased.

• The goal is relaxation and pleasure, not performance.

• Encourage him to monitor his arousal level (0-10) and communicate when he reaches an 8-9.

• Pause stimulation as needed to extend pleasure and build energy. Ideally you are taking your partner through multiple cycles of heightened arousal followed by relaxation without ejaculation. These cycles nourish the entire system and may lead to a heightened orgasm (or energetic orgasm) if desired.

• Incorporate breathwork to enhance sensation, distribute pleasure and make sure your partner can stay relaxed without ejaculating.

• Frequent check-ins: ask about pressure, speed, and sensations. Really finding out what feels best to him is incredibly, incredibly important.

• How does he like it?

• How does the pressure feel?

• How is the speed?

• If you're giving this massage, just really tune into your touch, the way that you're touching your man, the way that his body is responding, look for his breath, his face, the signals of his body and let this massage be organic.

• Allow emotions to arise naturally.

Preparation

Take time to prepare yourself and your energy for this sensual journey. Feeling relaxed, calm, resourced and turned-on, is part of holding this container for your partner. You may want to bathe, wear something special, anoint your body with perfume and/or self-pleasure before you begin. Your presence, appreciation and enthusiasm for the massage is felt by your partner.

1. Set the Scene: Ensure a comfortable space with soft lighting or candles, scenting the room with a diffuser or calming music can help set the vibe. The receiver may relax more if you use a blindfold, this can allow for a deeper level of connection to their inner experience.

2. Make sure the room is nice and warm: Turn up the heat, put a heating pad under the receiver or offer them a blanket to cover the parts of their body that is not being massaged.

3. Make sure you are comfortable: As the giver, it's important to be aware of your comfort and body position while giving the massage. Being fully present is much easier when you are in a good position to reach your partners body. You will be sitting or kneeling between your partner's legs. You can have your legs straight, sit cross legged or have your partner positioned at the edge of the bed/couch and use a chair.

4. Gather Materials: Body friendly massage oil or lubricant. It can be helpful to place a towel or cloth under their body if you are concerned about the oil dripping.

5. Positioning: Receiver lies down, relaxed. Giver sits comfortably between their legs (use a pillow or chair if needed).

Step-by-Step Massage Guide

1. Opening the Experience

• Place one hand over his penis and the other over his chest.

• Guide him to take three deep breaths.

• Talk to your partner about bringing awareness to their body and sensations. Remind them that is about relaxing into receiving, there is nothing they need to do.

• Tell your partner three or more things you love about their body, be descriptive

2. Full-Body Integration

• Stroke from his knees/hips up to his chest and around his nipples, then back down again. As you bring your hands down the receiver’s body experiment with different levels of pressure from light to firm.

• It is your choice to use oil on their entire body or focus it on the genitals. Use as much oil as needed, so your hands glide easily.

• Use circular motions on his abdomen to release tension.

3. Thigh and Groin Massage

• Stroke from the inner thighs to the hips, making circular motions.

• Lightly drag your thumbs along the groin and testicles.

• Use deep, slow thumb circles around the thigh creases.

• You can apply some pressure to the hips.

4. Oiling and Initial Contact

• Cover hands in oil and warm it between palms.

• Glide one hand from the base of the penis over the testicles and up to the head.

• Then stroke in the opposite direction, from the head down over shaft to the testicles ending at the perineum.

•With your hands resting on the groin area, use your thumbs in a circular motion from bottom to top, gently stimulating the perineum. Start off slow and notice how your partner responds to touch in this area.

5. Foundational Strokes

• Clockwork: This is best with a soft penis, lay the shaft against the pelvic area or hand (for 6 o'clock) and apply gentle pressure stroking from root to tip. Then move the penis to the next position on the clock.

• Root Stroke: Hold the penis in one hand, glide the other down from the head to the base, alternating hands.

• Thumb/Finger Press: Apply gentle pressure and up/down movement to the base of the penis where it enters the body. This would be the place where labia would be on a vulva. Not everyone will like this place massaged, so be aware of your partner’s response and go slowly.

• Testicle Massage: Roll hands or thumbs in circles over the testicles, adjusting pressure as needed. Stroke upward between the testicles.

• Scrotum Stretch: Gently pull the scrotum downward while stroking upward, over the shaft, alternating hands. Try the same gentle stretch of the scrotum while massaging downward from tip to shaft.

• Teasing the Tip: Holding the shaft firmly, gently graze your pads of your fingers over the tip and around the edge very lightly.

6. Advanced Strokes

• Palming Stroke: Alternate hands, stroking up and downwards over the shaft.

• Fingers Stroke: Similar to the stroke above but allowing the tip to slide through your fingers while stroking up and downwards.

• Shiatsu Pressure: Use thumbs to press along the shaft, working each side as well.

• Frenulum Focus: Cup the penis and use your middle finger, stroking the underside where sensitivity is highest. The cup of your hand will be moving over the tip up and downwards.

• Bottle-Cap Twist: One hand strokes down while the other twists gently over the head.

• Loose Wring Stroke: Stroke with a relaxed hand, twisting slightly for variation.

Closing the Massage

• Check in: Does he feel like stopping, making love, cuddling, or continuing?

• End with a recap of the experience.

• The end of the massage is up to you and your partner: You could begin making love, you could bring your partner to climax, or you could finish with cuddling, integration and recap.

• Always finish with a Recap Exercise: Share what felt best, any emotions that came up, and what could enhance the experience next time.

• Express appreciation for the shared intimacy.

Final Notes

This massage is a journey, not a goal-oriented activity. Approach it with curiosity, patience, and an open heart. Enjoy the connection and the deepening of pleasure and intimacy.